It's been a while...

Hi
I have decided to start blogging again...

I started blogging a long time ago, and really loved it, but then I stopped working night shifts and my Daughter was born.

One removed the opportunity to write uninterrupted, the other removed the need to intospect; its amazing how the kind of fierce love one has at my advanced age for a little girl can throw ones axis off.

In the 8 years since she has grown, and so have I... sideways. Which is where the tale starts

I have had a number of health issues over the last 3 years. I wont bore you, but this has meant that I stopped exercising, and the result of this is that I am now much easier to see than I was.

Yesterday I went to see my GP about...stuff, and he did that thing that strikes horror into any 49 year olds heart...no the other thing; you can do that with a blood test (I would doubt the motivation of any GP who still does the 'finger test')

The rotter got out the scales...

Now, there is no need to share what it said, but it was 3 figures.

I am not a vain man, I genuinely have no care about how I look as the guys that mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind, but I do care about my family and my health, and when your GP explains in no uncertain terms that one is putting your life at risk by eating burgers, then I am gong to stop eating burgers

Wine however is another story. You have to have something, right?

So I am on a diet. I announced this to my lovely wife, who looked sceptical as I have often been known to disparage the diet industry as a sham based upon destroying someones self confidence to make money.

I am doing it differently though. To the best of my ability I will no longer eat cheese and carbohydrates. Bread, potatoes, bagels, pasta, muffins and cakes are no more.

If this works I will be happy. No one likes being fat, but we like nice stuff more.

Lets see how this goes.

Whilst waiting to get a blood test yesterday the song 'If I fell' by the Beatles came over the Radio. For those who dont know the song the lyrics are:


1
If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand

2

'Cause I've been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands

3

If I give my heart to you, I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her

4

If I trust in you oh please
Don't run and hide
If I love you too oh please
Don't hurt my pride like her

Cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

5

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
'Cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
If I fell in love with you

A beautiful song, from an innocent age right? I think not... Lets do a bit of analysis and I'll paraphrase

1; If I'm with you, you must be exclusive to me

2: a relationship with me must include sex

3: You must shag me immediately, unlike my current Girlfriend

4: Withholding sex attacks my pride, so commit now to bumping uglies, or I wont bother

5: You are hot and I would like having sex with you, and this will hurt my current girlfriend (twice)

Now how this got past the censor in 1964 I don't know, but any Gangsta rapper wort his salt would be thrilled to produce a lyric as cold hearted and mysogenistic as this. 

You gotta love John Lennon right? What a humanitarian.

Playing live, a musicians guide

Hi,

Here are some tips for aspiring musicians when playing in front of people other than your Mam:

1. Don't look at your shoes (unless they are really awesome, like Elton John's in Tommy), the audience is like a pack of wolves and can smell fear. If you are scared, they will attack, or worse, ignore you.

2. Tune your instruments before starting playing.

You aren't getting paid? no reason not to be professional

3. Write out a setlist.

And for God's sake don't say 'any requests?' There are thousands of songs in the world, the likelihood that you will get asked to play something you know is tiny.

4. Be proficient at the song you are doing.

Believe me the audience does not like you yet, unless you impress they will walk and you will feel like shite. Being in a bad band is slightly more embarrassing than that dream where you are in work and you realize you forgot to wear trousers.

5. Jokes: Don't!

Unless you are blessed with a total disregard for the opinion of the audience, because you will become nervous telling/making the joke, it will fall flat, and you absolutely will look a cock.

6. Enjoy it!

Having fun is infectious, if you are so nervous it feels like torture, you will be better of writing bad poetry in your bedroom. See all those old guys not in a band? you will be surprised how many of them were in a band and decided it wasn't for them, no shame in that.

7 Drink/Drugs: No!!

Chemical assistance may feel like a good idea when getting on stage, it isn't. To get rid of nerves on Alcohol requires you be pissed, and no one plays well when shitfaced. Speed reduces you accuracy if you are a guitarist and is poison for drummers, and cocaine turns you average egotistical wanker (or guitarist/singer) into Fred Durst. If you cant do it straight, them don't do it at all.

8. Expect rejection.

If you took Led Zepplin at their best and made them play at a old man's pub on a Thursday there is a fair chance the audience would just ignore them.

9 Screw the Audience's opinion

Opinions are like assholes, everyones got one but I don't need to hear it. I don't care what the audience think as most of them are idiots, and if they weren't they would be playing themselves.

10. Don't try and be a Star#1

The point of music at the lower level is to express oneself and to enjoy the process; stardom and money are side products of that. If you try and get into music to be rich and famous you will be disappointed, either because you will still be poor and obscure, or if you get fame you will not enjoy it. Whats the point of fame for fames sake? As Ricky Gervais said, if you want to be famous, murder a nun.

11. Don't try and be a Star#2

What worked for David Bowie will not work for you. If you walk into a School Muso Night in a faux fur coat, wearing glitter and platforms, treating the audience like they are privileged to gaze on your magnificence you will get called a tool when performing and likely get a kicking later on. Be Honest!

12. Papa Don't Preach!

You are not a politician, you are not a Philosopher, you are not Christopher Hitchens or the Dalai Lama, the audience did not come to hear you talk, they came to listen to badly played 70's rock anthems like Sweet Home Alabama.

Bono is in the Worlds Biggest Band. Everyone thinks he is a twat. Ask yourself why is that? You are worried about the forests/fish/starving millions/cars etc? So is everyone else but no one gives a toss what you think you spotty little tool.

Being a musician is brilliant, I love that shit, but I do it because I want to do it, and I don't care what everyone else thinks; I play my own music and I don't crave the audiences approval, which is more than likely why I enjoy it so much..

Creativity, Sport and Alcohol

Hi,

I can't remember who said it (though I think it was Winston Churchill) but you haven't lived if you haven't been a poet at least once in your life. I have written a lot of poetry, some of it very bad indeed.

Here is my poetic thoughts on last nights England/Argentina Rugby game

All together, we are friends we all

To prey at the church of the oval ball

We have the nibbles, we have the brew

Dead animals cook on the barbecue

by 8:30, we are in the mood

Chock full of beer, bellies full of food

What can possibly spoil this scene?

England are playing the Argentine

This game is played at a sleepy snails pace

Plenty of kick, but precious little chase

There is no flair, no one can deny

Its more interesting watching paint dry

A dire game, kill the lights, make it dark

Steriod-fuelled morons strolling in the park

Why cant both sides look at themselves and see

This game's a crime against Humanity

Stop this game, of thee all I beg

I'm so bored I could chew off my leg

You killed this game, no flair, no art

You brainless morons should stick to darts.

As you an guess I didn't enjoy the game.

Personally if winning Rugby looks like this, I'm glad the Welsh lose.

Its been a while,

Hi,

Funny how time flies. I used to blog, if not weekly, then at least a couple of times a month, but I know I haven't done so in about 2 years.

Why?

I think I ran out of things to say. I lost the ability to be of interest to myself, and so I spared the World the tedium of my own boring NZ paradise. But now life has got fun again!!!

Firstly, I have a new baby!! Ysabel is a joy to me that I cant describe, she is a continuing and constant source of the most giddy and exultant happiness that it makes my heart sing just looking at her gummy gorgeous smile.

Secondly my career is awesome, which also means I am constantly knackered. C'est la vie, I would rather be shattered than bored.

Thirdly musically I am now happier than ever, I am writing, and people like my shite, my Daughter even dances to it!!

Which is nice

Lasty, but not leastly I love my Family, and I love my Wife, even though shagging is a now and again thing due to babiezzz. That will change, but my love won't.

21 years beatchez!! beat that!!!

Chill, and , yes, I have been drinking

Peace

Tim Minchin: Pope Song

hahahahaha

Updates

I don't blog enough...

I was looking through my Multiply contacts, like I often do, when I realized that I haven't blogged in MONTHS, and after I promised as well.

So here goes,

We have put our house up on the market, so that we can move to another part of Hawkes Bay, a place called Havelock North. Nice place with a nice cinema and a nicer School, also all of my mates live there, so it will save petrol.

If you would like a tour of my house it can be found here Please buy it, I want to move.

I have a new old workmate. When I was but a youngster I was asked to show a prospective employee around the Hospital in which I was a Student. Her name was Angela Woof and I thought she was very nice. She didn't get that job but I worked with her as a student when she did a locum job in Singleton, and as a qualified MRT when I got my first job at Neath.

Later on I worked with her at Bridgend as a grade MRT, and she was my senior, again she was lovely to work with. She got herself promoted to Charge MRT for Neath and I left to go to NZ.

Last year Angela gets in contact with me to ask about how to emigrate, so I help in as best a fashion as I can, she duly emigrates to Hamilton. Then the Team Leader in General Radiography job is advertised, and she is the successful applicant! With the result that I now have a very capable good friend as a work mate.

In order for her to start on time, she had to lodge with me for 4 weeks while they organized their accommodation. This was fun, most people can't stand to be around me for 10 minutes, but we all got on like a house on fire. Plus I got a lift into work!!

Angela understands the business of healthcare, in that how you organise your work has a greater impact on the patient population that how you do your individual patient. Apart from Myself and Chris, the Radiology Business coordinator, this understanding is absent from all the other team leaders.

Its nice to have someone else talk the same language as I do, and in the same accent!

Since I last wrote my cousin has died of complications due to years of Alcohol and drug abuse. He was a sad and troubled lad, but a nice guy who had made a number of bad choices. His Family buy and large had lost patience with him (apart from one Sister and his Mother), which is understandable considering his behavior, but I know that they wish they could turn the clock back. You can't, of course, which is why you should always try to be the better person, even if the other guy has stretched your patience to breaking point.

You never know what is around the corner eh?

One of the nice things about Angela coming here is that she brought her Children. Catrin and Eve are 8 and 13 respectively. Catrin is a lovely, smiley little kid who loves coming to our house and painting fairies with Jacqui. Eve is a teenage girl, with a big personality (and that is not a euphemism).

Ieuan my Son, loves them both.

It is funny to watch as he tries to figure out how to be friends to these girls. With Catrin it is easy, as he just hands her the Cat, plays with and looks after her, but you can see that with Eve he can't get his head around how being friends with her feels different to him. Mostly he just hangs around on the periphery as they talk and play, happy just to be in their company.

It is quite sweet.

Ieuan is quite socially awkward, and he can't do the teenage chat thing, but he is doing OK as it is. He is very innocent, and I hope that continues for a while. Certainly he wants to go to mixed High school now, as I think he has figured that he can meet more girls there, and when he figures out why that is A Good Thing, we might all be in trouble.

Banging your head against a brick wall is a symptom of Aspergers syndrome...

Hi,
Some of us have kids, this is a statistical fact. That is where the problem starts.

Kids are a problem for society, it appears, because they have needs and yet produce nothing (except crowds of bored teenagers on a Saturday outside Burger King and badly executed graffiti).

It appears that the producers of kids, or "Parents" are a whinging bunch who will try to get preferential treatment for their mewling brats, costing the Government loads of cash, and being all difficult around the place. Demanding things like schools that teach, and food that isn't full of chemistry.

I don't know, some people!

Even more difficult are Parents of 'special needs' kids, demanding ramps and such. Why can't the lazy buggers carry their kids? Once they get to big, put them in a home or hospital!

Are there no workhouses?

Even worse are the kids that look normal, but are not. Kids like Ieuan, my son. Ieuan has Aspergers syndrome. Apparently, so do I, which explains a lot. Like how I could read Shakespeare at 3, but am unable to spell 'thier'. No matter how often that little red line appears, I never get the I and E the right way around.

Also explains why my school days were so miserable. An Aspergers kid in a class full of working class Welsh is like blood in the water. I had a torrid time. I don't want the same for Ieuan.

So, against my gut feeling, I enrolled him in a 'special unit' Initially things looked good, he was sent to mainstream class for Maths, where he excelled, and then went back to his base class to keep in a calm atmosphere. However over the last year, they have not done this, because they don't have the staff. Hence he is bored.

However, he is 13, and has to go to High School. His School has no place for him in their unit, so they want to keep him back. I don't think this is a good idea at all.

Aspergers kids are hyper competitive, but they also benchmark. He sees a class of kids who are (through no fault of their own) no where near the intellectual level that Ieuan is, and he thinks "I am already number 1, why try harder?" This is Ok if you have a career in Apple picking ahead of you, but Ieuan is not becoming an Apple picker unless he has to.

So we have been searching for a school to take him, which may mean that he has to sink or swim. Or we might have to move home. Or get a loan to pay for a Teacher Aide, or Home School Ieuan, or Jacqui might have to work for nothing in the school to release another Teacher Aide.... God knows.

One thing is for certain, I will not allow my Son to have his future prospects ruined by a system that wishes he were more stupid, or less trouble. I won't accept my flesh and blood getting second best because of expediency. Bollocks I will.

I'll go back to Wales first.

What to do with Parents eh? I mean what are kids, except literally the future of humanity.

Cold

Good Afternoon Children,

The British need their winter woolens this year, it appears


Now apparently this is going to be the coldest winter since records began, with temperatures in the -20 degree Celsius range

Global warming is to blame. This is due to the odd fact that most of the heat that Europe gets in the Winter comes from the Gulf Stream, a conveyor belt of warm water from the tropics.
As the ice melts in Europe due to warming, the salinity of the ocean surface water drops, fresh water will settle on top of salt water, so the water, one it has given up its heat, cant sink. If it cant sink, the conveyor will stop. Once that happens, then Europe will freeze. Swansea is at the same latitude as Nova Scotia. Get used to -20dgrees, and summers will suck even worse then before-Just what the UK needs, on top of all the other problems that have been documented by me over the last few years, we will soon look fondly back at the great summers of the latter 20th century, when temperatures averaged in June 21degrees, and winters were a balmy 0 degrees!Which is another reason why I moved to NZ. The weather here is like the weather used to be in my imagination when I was 8 years old. Nice, generally. I also had the great pleasure of corresponding with a guy I last saw 20 years ago, He was one of my best mates in primary school, but after we went to separate secondary schools we became distanced, to reaffirm our friendship as teenagers, before he went to serve in the Military and I went into health care. In our letters I spoke of my childhood, and how, before I went to "big" school, it didn't suck, and how after it did, hard. The rose tint were on big time, and it got me thinking of how times have changed. Nostalgia is the feeling of fondness for times past, and in many ways I am against it. Music was not better, films were not better, fashion wasn't better, its just we filter out the crap that we don't want to remember.But I do think that society was better in many important ways, the sense of community was very strong with us kids at Gendros Primary, and we all looked out for each other (mostly). Differences didn't matter not so much as what brought us together. I remember the Christmas parties and Sports days being well attended by Parents who would happily help, and compete themselves (3 legged race? Sign me up!) Now it appears that we are so concerned with appearance and being rewarded for our works that we don't do it unless we are paid, look cool doing it or feted for it. Which is sad, as we lose more from enjoyment that we gain from not doing. You only get out of something (like life) what you put in. If you are more concerned with weighing the output before inputting, there will be no input.This lack of community action manifested itself to be by a gradual coarsening of values, a loss of the spirit of comradeship and ultimately a fiercely self centered society, where if it wasn't your problem, then you didn't care. I thought that was only seen in the UK, but apparently it is World wide. Or are we all just looking at the past through rose tints?On Thursday, Jacqui rescued a kitten. This scrap was tiny, looked less that 4 weeks, it was being kicked down the street in a box by a couple of teenage girls. Jacqui confronted them and when quizzed they said they found it in a field. The Cat was ill, coughing, grunting when it was breathing. Its eyes where closed with mucus. It may well have been feral, and rejected by its Mother. I cleaned it up, gave it some water and called the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. A nice Young lady collected the kitten. Her opinion was that it was too young to be fed solid food, they had no nursing cats, it was very ill and would more than likely be put down. But being humanely destroyed is a better end that being kicked to death, terrified and alone, for the amusement of a couple of unfeeling bitches.What is wrong with people?I could go across to the house where they were playing, to ask the owners who the girls where. I could involve the Law, but I won't, because ultimately the Girls would not be punished, and kids with time on their hands can find all kind of interesting ways to get their own back (and I speak from experience). Am I a coward. Guilty as charged. As the old slogan states:If you not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.Try to be good

Michael Mackrill is unwell...

I Hate Being Sick,

Now I have the constitution of a concrete rhino, I am sickeningly healthy. I don't take vitamins, or colloidal silver or any of that crap. I am just lucky.

But when I am sick, I want to be really ill. Spotty, sweaty, cant get out of bed ill.

I don't want any of that 'take a lem sip and you can work' bollocks. To me, that is like the suffering with none of the upsides, like watching the Holmes on Homes marathon on the Living Channel, or re-acquainting myself with my vinyl collection.

So I am miserable because I have a cold, a stinking, achy, sweaty, shitty cold. But I can still go to work with Paracetamol. That's like the hangover without the good times.

My fingers ache, so that's it from me.

Hope the rest of you are well, or feeling to shitty to work

Bollocks, part deux

Hi,
Earlier this week I posted this, and my jaundiced reply to it:

. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, & the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have....
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can' t have them
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11.. There' s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around..
12. Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

I will not repeat my jaundiced and somewhat funny retake on this. Its easy to criticize, to rain on the parade, to be nonconstructive, but I will now try to do something constructive, and using this awful turd poem as a base, write something true.


I love you because of who you are.
Only people are worth your tears, nothing else is.
Just because someone doesn't love you, it doesn't make them, or you, a bad person. Love is a good in itself.
A true friend is someone who has your best interests at heart, even when you don't
If you love someone, tell them. Whats the worst that can happen?
You can be sad. You can be happy. Never apologize for how you feel, honesty is better than pretense.
Don't expect another to make you happy. That way lies madness.
You can't make someone love you, so don't waste your time trying
You need the lows, that's when you grow. What use is a mountain without a valley below?
Your better off making a mistake, than not trying.
Don't expect others to fit in with your plans. People have their own agenda, if it doesn't fit with yours, whose fault is that?
If you don't know what you want, how can anyone else?
Success doesn't make you happy. look at Kurt Cobain!

Everything happens for a reason. If you don't like it, change the reasons.


This still sucks, but I agree with it, which is a start.

Be Good

Bollocks

Hi,

I am by nature a cynic. I especially hate those "the world is a wonderful place, God loves you, isn't everything great, its all for a reason' bullshit e mails that people tend to forward on to everyone in their e mail list without thinking.

Like my friend Andrea (who is lovely BTW) who sent me this little internet gem

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, & the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have....
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can' t have them
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11.. There' s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around..
12. Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

Now I usually would have just desided to ignore such a soppy pile of shite, and got on with my day. But I was feeling even more jaundiced than usual, and decided to fight back.

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because you made me a cup of tea
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, but there are plenty who are worth a slapping
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, usually means they are religious and what you want is banned in Leviticus

4. A true friend is someone who tells you to stop acting a twat
5. The worst way to miss someone is to aim to high, aim lower and you might hit something vital anyway

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, Just keep a steely resolve to get the bastard back some day.
7. To the world you may be one person, and therefore TOTALLY insignificant. Deal With It.
8. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to put out on the second date at least.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. And because He is a dick like that
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened And because you secretly shagged his best mate behind his back
11.. There' s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is get your retaliation in first
12. Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you. However if, like me, you are perfect, then everyone will love you anyway. So why bother?
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you use lube.
REMEMBER: SHIT HAPPENS, JUST MAKE SURE IT HAPPENS TO SOMEONE ELSE.

Happily Andrea is still on speaking terms with me.

Be Good!

Kicking my own arse

Hi,
I tend to have addictions.

Not major, romantic, sex, drugs and rock and roll addictions, none of those Shellyesque Absinthe fuelled coke nose tumbles into the dark abyss of depravity for me.

My addictions are short lived, and kind of shit.

What, I fondly imagine you asking, do you mean Mike?

I will give you an example. Civilization Revolutions on the X-Box 360. I bought this for my Son at Christmas. I have never been into consoles, I like using a PC for gaming, and I like RTS games such as Civilization and Rome-Total War. This game, however, has me hooked. So much so that if I don't play it daily, I get cranky. I know the signs, and there is only 1 cure.

Go cold turkey.

Other examples? Reading. I go through phases where I will read 5 or 6 books one after another over a week or so, becoming totally anti-social and uncommunicative. Again only 1 cure. Cold Turkey.

I once watched all 8 series of Red Dwarf back to back in one sitting. Same goes for Firefly and the 3 Lord of the Rings films.

I have been known to clean the wheels of my car with a toothbrush. and then not clean it for 6 months. I once ate porridge for breakfast for 4 months back to back. I then didn't touch it for 6 months, and then did the same thing over again.

I spent a year on 360 putting 2 sometimes 3 blogs a week on. Since I have been on Multiply, I struggle to find enough to say from one month to the next.

I used to train 8 times a week. I can't be asked now, and I am beginning to hate myself for it. Still, there is always next week eh?

Music was my life, but lately it has lost the draw for me. I still play, but the excitement has gone, and I am scared other people can hear it in my playing.

I need a kick in the arse, the only one who can do that is me, but I don't know if I still posses the flexibility to do it.

Oh Well...

In more exciting news, my son and I went to the local car show here in Hastings. One of the more bizarre things about NZ is that, as cars were always imported, and as the protectionist Government put huge tariffs on the imports, cars were bloody expensive. If you could afford one, you looked after it!

Hence, go to a NZ classic car show and you will see a greater variety, age range and rarity of old US & European and Australian iron than in the UK anywhere. I saw DeSoto's Caddy's Buicks, old Fords, Pontiacs, Jaguars, Merc's, Porshes, Rileys, Rollers, Bentleys, Mustangs, Daimlers and a Jowett Javelin. There were Triumphs, Rovers, Beetles, Morris' MG's Fiats, Lancias, Alfa Romeo's and a Ferrari. And here lies my tale.

I love Ferrari's. I love their shape, their cachet, their mojo and their total pursuit of one goal. To make the best handling car there is. Form follows function and the form is drop dead gorgeous. Now as a kid, the Ferrari of choice was the 308GTB. It is stunningly gorgeous, small, nimble and as fast as a cat with its balls on fire. So when I saw a beautiful purple example at this show, I had to take a look. Ieuan breathed "Dad...its a Ferrari!" as we approached. Lo and behold my mate Jamie is standing by it. Jamie is a classic car nut, and owns a couple of old British cars from the 1930's.

Hi Jamie, said I, you bought a Ferrari? Yes said Jamie, "hahaha" said I, "No. I bought this car. I have sold all my other cars and re mortgaged the house to buy this Ferrari". Shit....spot on bro!

Ieuan is looking at the car, grinning like a loon. "Do you want to sit in it Ieuan?" said Jamie "aowkk!!" said Ieuan, so Jamie opens up the car, and Ieuan sits in the cockpit, grinning like his face is coming off. "Grab hold of the wheel" Ieuan reaches forward slowly and touches the wheel on both sides, between his first finger and thumb, like he was picking up an egg! We laughed, because it was soo cute!

Ieuan, since that day, every hour or so says to Jacqui "I can't believe My Father knows someone who own a Ferrari!" I am cool by association!!

Be Good

Monet

Hi,

As I wrote, turning 40 is often a big deal. For me it brought into focus some painful realizations, like my life was developing a comfortable inertia that I suddenly find uncomfortable, or that I may have many fewer days ahead of me than are behind me.

Happily Jacqui is far more grounded (even though she is the New Age Goddess in the house) than am I, for Jacqui it was an excuse for a good time. So it was that I booked a suite in a 5 star hotel in Wellington, to see the Monet exhibition at Te Papa.

We drove down the East coast of the North Island and arrived at the suite. Ieuan came too (even though his 'Nana Gail would have looked after him) and he was instantly impressed by the suite. He wanted room service, and I declined. I think he wants to be a cash-rich plutocrat when he is older. I hope he succeeds!

Te Papa is New Zealands national museum. If I were to make a suggestion, I would say it tried to do too much to too little effect. The country should have a Natural History, Cultural and National Gallery. Doing all 3 in one building results in skimmimng, and overcrowding.

We paid our 35 Dollars, and entered the hall, where there were 50 plus works by Monet, Cezanne and Renior (as well as many others). It is hard to put into words the absolute beauty of the works in this hallway. They were far more beautiful in the paint than on even the best photographic representation.

I found myself getting impatient with the dullards looking at the works from 4 feet away, getting in my view. Learn how to view art, before spoiling my view. Up close, you could see the way Monet used the texture of the paint to create depth, At 12 feet the paintings were ethereal and dreamlike, as if this is how I would see the World, if I only had better eyes.

Of course there were other artworks in Te Papa, and some of them were very good (and some absolute tripe), but even the best must have felt like the man who takes his golf GTI to a race, when everyone else has Ferrari F50's. The Impressionists were just in a different class.

I have seen other great artists 'in the paint' (Turner was superb, as was Lucien Freud) but this was certainly the best exhibition of an artistic movement I have ever seen, I feel privileged

Be Good

40 years old, and time is running out!

40 years old.

At this age many things should be happening. I should be settling into the "cruise control" part of life, by now. My career should be settled, my family should be maturing nicely, all the struggles of the last twenty years should have born fruit, and I should be enjoying it all.

What this means to me is that should now be looking towards setting myself up for retirement.

I don't know, it seems to me that there just are not enough years between 20 and 40. The thought that there is about the same amount of time left in my career as I have had so far makes me panic a bit.

It has become one of my late night AAArrrrh moments, like my death and the thought of personal annihilation.

So a couple of weeks ago I had the great news that Jacqui, my lovely wife, was pregnant. I then had the less welcome news that Jacqui had miscarried. Buggerfuck.

This kind of brought a few things into focus. Like I have been stupid in not realizing what actually is important in my life.

I crave a big project, chaos and uncertainty. I used to think I didn't but now all that has been removed I realsize it's what makes me feel alive. And there is no bigger project, nothing so uncertain and no greater chaos that can visited upon you than a baby.

We didn't push trying to find out why Jacqui wasn't getting pregnant because of our 'busy life', Emigrating, buying a house, going back to see the family etc. until it is almost too late. 40 years old is the cut off point for fertility treatment in NZ, so I did what I swore I would never do, and we went private.

I hate the idea of private medicine.

I think in a truly good society, wealth shouldn't mean worth, so the fact I have a good job shouldn't mean that I should get better basic services (I regard Health as a basic service) than a poor person.

Dangerously Socialist in the US, common sense in Wales.

Anyway we met a realy nice Doctor who got us a load of tests (I had to wank in a jar!! horray!!!!) and we now have a clear way forward. So watch this space

On another note, Jacqui turned 40 on the 16th, and to celebrate, we all went ona trip to Wellington, stayed in a 5 star hotel (a suite!!) and saw the Monet exhiubition a Te Papa Museum.

The Impressionist paintings (Monet, Cezanne, Degas etc) were superb, The rest of the museum was a bit of a curates egg, OK in parts (Though we have been slightly spoilt by seeing the London Museums last year). Full blog to follow.

I want to go to the Smithsonian. But that can wait till after I get a baby sorted.

Never say never,

Prince Harry, and killing people

Hi,

I am not a Royalist. I am a Republican Socialist. So you might think I have a certain antipathy towards the Royal Family. Well, I don't. I actually have come to the conclusion as I have aged that the British constitutional Monarchy has many advantages over a Republic, as they are a figurehead, thus allowing a non-political expression of Patriotism.

What is odd is hat we have always expected our Royals to be Military. Which is OK, as long as they don't take it too seriously. Unfortunately, this crop of Royals has brought forth Prince Harry. Harry is a proper soldier. 

He was a noted sportsman at school, and excelled in every sport he took up, the more violent and physical the better. He went into Sandhurst, and was by all accounts a superb student. He then became a Royal Marine, and excelled there, showing leadership skills far beyond the level required by Royalty to become an officer. 

Harry seems to have found his niche, and his niche is killing people for Granny.

Which is why I kind of scratched my head when he was pilloried for calling the Taliban "towel heads" The reason? "Its Racist" What I say is we can't offend them, but killing them is OK? 

Bollocks, fuck the Taliban hard up the ass with a Milan Anti tank weapon. The more of those murdering, cowardly bastards we kill, the better. I don't like war, but murdering Homosexuals and terrorising civilians who don't agree with your 12 century worldview pisses me off more. The fewer Taliban and Al Queda, the better.

They also wring their hand because he called a member of his troop 'Paki', to his face. They all called him Paki. I have been called Taff by every Englishman, Scot and Irishman I have ever met. How is Paki different? 

These guys will fight and die for each other, and the politically correct crew are calling him racist? I assume that Paki carrier a self loading Rifle, so I am also sure that someone calling a man carrying an assault rifle Paki, does so with the Paki's acquiescence, because Paki is carrying a great big fucking machine gun. I have seen full metal jacket, I hope Harry has as well.

Lastly, we expect our soldiers to be saints who murder people because politicians say so. And we worry that they might be racist while carrying out these murders? 

I think we are missing the point

2008.

Hi, 

2009 will have to go some to beat the awesome year I was blessed with. Career wise I couldn't have had it any better, and am now sitting in the job that I always coveted. All I have to do is not screw up, which may be harder than it sounds!

My family is great, I am privelidged to be the Father to a super like soul, and Husband to a wonderful woman, who is loved by all who know her. I just sit around in the reflected glow of her popularity, and get to talk to her friends' husbands. Which is aboult as much sovial interaction as I am comfortable with.

I fulfilled 3 long term ambitions this year, traveling to the USA, Australia and seeing Bruce live. I spent 4 great weeks with my extended family, and all my brilliant mates. I got to bore Ieuan, talking about the frankly brilliant sights on display at the v&a, science and natural history museums.

Things I learned? I was not a good choice to be department manager, having seen Paula (my Boss) do it, I know that I would have been hopeless. 

LA isn't nice, Chicago is (though I did meet a very nice Angelino who talked us through how to use the Metro, stunning job mate!) 

Americans are not as dumb as the rest of the World thinks they are (Hello President Obama), and the old politics are dead (horray).

2009? Well some things don't change (Colts are out of the postseason) and some things do (The Caedinals? Really?) and that a webcam set up in a room full of your family is a surprisingly satisfying 2nd best to actually being there.

So there you go. Resolutions? Stop drinking. (2 days now) and blog more.

So there you are. See ya. 

A Week Off

How are you all?

I have a week off. Nothing planned, nothing to do, no one to see, just chillin'

I have to go into work on Monday to hand in my application form for the job I have been doing for the last year. They hope to have this all sorted by Christmas, and I am hopeful that they will.

Nicky, the previous PACS Administrator came back to work this week, and had her first day in PACS. She has had way more experience that I have had, and was there to set up the service. 

I hope that I can use that level of expertise to the advantage of the service, as I am bound to have made, and continue to make mistakes, in fact she pointed out one or two on Friday, which I will fix, and I am truly grateful for another set of eyes on things. 

It can't be easy for her to come into an area where she has been instrumental in setting up, to find I have moved in and changed the decor and furniture. She told me that she would rather not still be in PACS, but finance preclude her just doing MRI and general work. 

Needless to say when she speaks, I will listen hard, but ultimately I am responsible, and the final decision on anything rests with me.

Otherwise, I will use the week to sort out presents, and get in touch with those that matter to me. 

Being to far away from my family and friends, Christmas isn't a good time. I am by nature forgetful and lazy, and I hate conversing over the telephone. Hense Christmas cards don't get sent, letters don't get written, and I feel like a heel for not making the effort. 

I will try to be better this year. I also don' like the way that Christmas sneaks up on you, and suddenly you have missed the last post to the UK. Bugger

Finally, we should remember what christmas actually is all about..celebrating the birth of a Jewish pacifist who was brutally killed by being nailed to a lump of wood by a bunch of evil Italians while all his mates looked on and did nothing. Which is of course best celebrated with an obscene spending spree, drunkenness and gluttony. 

Dyspeptic? Moi?

My Mad Uncle

My first musical memory is my Dad putting on a new album on his Garrard record deck. The album was called "A Night at the Opera" by a bad called 'Queen'. Click....and that was it. The swelling piano, the angry guitars the noise building then..beautiful, powerful music, like I had never heard. 

It may well be the greatest album of all time, and has no tracks that are less than stellar. 

I wanted curly hair and one of those red guitars (I now own the guitar, but not the hair) I wanted to be as beautiful as Roger, as calm as John, as brilliant and passionate as Brian, and as mercurial as Freddy. 

I loved them all, but most of all, I wanted Freddie Mercury to be my Uncle. 

I would play every single record to death that Queen produced for the next 10 years, and I devoured every single thing Freddie wrote, was interviewed in or appeared in (though he was a very private man, and rarely gave interviews) 

He was so full of life, funny, articulate and just fun. 

My Dad told me that he was 'a poof', and late on I realised that that meant he liked having sex with men (He was actually Bisexual, his great love, Mary, spit with  him over his affairs with women. I guess he became more gay because men are easier, you can talk football after you finish fucking) 

Eventually Queen's brilliance faded, and the last 3 albums, whilst having some great tracks, also had some that were, for want of a better word, shit. Water treaders, fillers. Not  as good. 

Though at the end, they produced some great tracks ,Those Were The Days of our Lives,, 'I'm Going Slightly Mad', 'Its Late' and 'The Show Must Go On', which was number 1 the day they announced that Freddy was dead. 

Died of AIDS, caught of a Russian predatory omnisexual man whose name I forget, but allegedly did for Kenny Everett as well. 

 was devastated, my wife cried openly, and I felt that I had lost a part of what made me, me. 

Its been 17 years, but Freddie is still famous, because he has never left us, he is still a symbol of just how bright a star can be, and how much joie de vivre can be put into one man. 

Every time someone wins something, there will be 'We Are The Champions', every time someone loses 'Another One Bites the Dust' every time there is a need for awesome rock, there will be Queen.

As a ps, Freddie left all of his money, houses and royalties to Mary, who he wrote 'Love of My Life' for, and often said was the only person he ever loved. He may well have loved one person, but he was loved by millions. That surely is the definition of a successful Life.

Be Good

The last two weeks, and Quantum of Solace

Hi,

I have been a busy fella.

In work I have been told that they are advertising the job I have been doing for the last year as a permanent position (I had been covering a maternity leave) and this post will be internally advertised only.

This is a good thing for me.

I have told the rest of the RISPACS team that I would be happy to give them references for the position, but I think no one else will apply. This means that, bar me threatening to kill people at my interview, I should have a good chance of being made permanent.

Which Is Nice!

The job is starting to get interesting at the moment. We are implementing a major project in the early part of next year, and another major project at the end of next year, both of which I will be heavily involved with.

I have also been recording with the band, and rehearsing for a couple of gigs next week. I am excited about putting all of the ideas I have for our songs onto disk, and hearing how they go. I can't do this live, as I don't have 6 arms.

So after a hectic 14 days, I took us all to see Quantum of Solace, the new 007 film.

I would recommend it.

Daniel Craig is superb, the script is sharp. The action painful, and the story has heart. It also has one of the best and most cathartic endings in any action-er I have ever seen. Well worth your 10 bucks.

It has been Thanksgiving week, and it has been a curiously flat affair. Last year, lots of chatter on the net, this year, little. I think maybe that the economy is dampening the enthusiasm, or maybe the election has exhausted everyone.

No worries here mind, NZ has an economy based mainly on food and other agriculture, so financial crashes, whilst they will affect us, do so less powerfully than the UK or USA. Still, my best wishes go out to those who are suffering economic hardship, may you find better times soon.

I have been bemused by the piracy happening off the coast of Africa. I flew over there earlier this year on the way to Dubai. The aircraft (A450, great plane) had downward facing cameras, so you could watch the ground go by.

I counted 3 F15's, 2 F-16 and an A10. That's just when I was looking, and they all flew directly under my plane.

Someone wants the price of oil up, and now that the Iraqi's seem to be getting it back together, this happens. Coincidence? Answers on a postcard please...

Be Good