TV in NZ

Good Morning World,

Something is wrong with the world today, it is maybe the one thing that will get me to sream incoherantly at the TV. What is this thing, that will get me incandescant with rage at a nanosecond's notice? Is it hunger? or Racism? or Injustice?

No.

I speak of a horror so total, that if I ever find the people responsible. I will tear out their oesophagus and strangle them with it.

I speak of beauty/hair product advertisements!

Now this world is full of ugly people with bad hair. I know this, as I have a mirror. But the sight of Mila Jojovich or Claudia Schiffer sashaying up to the camera and declaring "I say NO to wrinkles!" or Andie McDowall smugly grinning "Grey? What Grey!" is enough for me to lose my lunch.

The self satisfied, rich, beautiful annoying SWINE! They all need to die NOW!!!

The inference is, YOU!! YES YOU IN THE LEGGINGS AND THE KAPPA KNOCKOFF SWEATSHIRT! YOU ARE UGLY!! BECAUSE OF THIS YOU ARE HAVING NO FUN AND MEDIOCRE SEX WITH A BALDING FAT SWEATY BLOKE! WHO RARELY SHOWERS!! SPEND YOUR DOLE ON THIS GREASY SHITE, RUB IT ON THE POCKMARKED END OF YOUR NECK AND YOU TO CAN GET TO SCREW BRAD PIT!

I Hate These Adverts SOOOOOOOO much I cannotfuckintellyou.

Its a lie. We know they are lying, we live in the world. I have eyes, for Christs sake!

Why are there no fat people in Chocolate ad's. (I LOVE chocolate, I would be the perfect endorse!) Why, when you see ads for booze do you never see a gang of blokes fighting in the street? or a fat girl crying in the toilets, or a teenager covered in vomit trying to get in a nightclub? Why isn't the slogan for Stella, "Drink 10 pints then go home and beat your wife!?" WHY DO THEY LIE? WE ALL KNOW THE REALITY!

The problem is in New Zealand that all TV is paid for by advertising. So every 10 minutes (and I really am NOT exaggerating) you have a set of ads, a large proportion of which are for beauty and hair products.

This is bad enough, it ruins any film you want to see, but the adverts are the same adverts in the same order every time!! AAAAAARGH! Even worse, they obviously charge bugger all for an ad, so you get ads on for a shop that sells truck headlights in Christchurch on my TV. I mean, WHY, IN THE NAME OF ALL THATS HOLY WOULD I GO TO CHRISTCHURCH TO BY HEADLIGHTS FOR MY TRUCK? How would I get there? IT'S TWO DAYS DRIVING AWAY!! and my truck has a broken headlight.

I don't actually own a truck, but that is beside the point. I miss British TV soooo much. thee telly here is all old Brit or American shows, and when you start to get sick of 5 year old Eastenders they stick on something homegrown to make you realise what quality drama Eastenders really is (all who know me know how much I hate Eastenders) I live in the land that gave us The Lord Of The Rings, but they cant do TV for toffee. It is the visual equivalent to listening to Welsh language rock music.

I feel much better now, my wife has come in with my happy pills, and they are letting me outside to play today! Hooray!

See You Soon

Mike

ps THis is an old 360 blog, I am moving to Multiply/Blogger because Yahoo suck