Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Michael Mackrill is unwell...

I Hate Being Sick,

Now I have the constitution of a concrete rhino, I am sickeningly healthy. I don't take vitamins, or colloidal silver or any of that crap. I am just lucky.

But when I am sick, I want to be really ill. Spotty, sweaty, cant get out of bed ill.

I don't want any of that 'take a lem sip and you can work' bollocks. To me, that is like the suffering with none of the upsides, like watching the Holmes on Homes marathon on the Living Channel, or re-acquainting myself with my vinyl collection.

So I am miserable because I have a cold, a stinking, achy, sweaty, shitty cold. But I can still go to work with Paracetamol. That's like the hangover without the good times.

My fingers ache, so that's it from me.

Hope the rest of you are well, or feeling to shitty to work

Friday, March 13, 2009

Bollocks, part deux


Hi,
Earlier this week I posted this, and my jaundiced reply to it:

. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, & the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have....
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can' t have them
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11.. There' s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around..
12. Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.


I will not repeat my jaundiced and somewhat funny retake on this. Its easy to criticize, to rain on the parade, to be nonconstructive, but I will now try to do something constructive, and using this awful turd poem as a base, write something true.


I love you because of who you are.
Only people are worth your tears, nothing else is.
Just because someone doesn't love you, it doesn't make them, or you, a bad person. Love is a good in itself.

A true friend is someone who has your best interests at heart, even when you don't
If you love someone, tell them. Whats the worst that can happen?
You can be sad. You can be happy. Never apologize for how you feel, honesty is better than pretense.
Don't expect another to make you happy. That way lies madness.
You can't make someone love you, so don't waste your time trying
You need the lows, that's when you grow. What use is a mountain without a valley below?
Your better off making a mistake, than not trying.
Don't expect others to fit in with your plans. People have their own agenda, if it doesn't fit with yours, whose fault is that?

If you don't know what you want, how can anyone else?
Success doesn't make you happy. look at Kurt Cobain!

Everything happens for a reason. If you don't like it, change the reasons.


This still sucks, but I agree with it, which is a start.

Be Good

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Bollocks

Hi,

I am by nature a cynic. I especially hate those "the world is a wonderful place, God loves you, isn't everything great, its all for a reason' bullshit e mails that people tend to forward on to everyone in their e mail list without thinking.

Like my friend Andrea (who is lovely BTW) who sent me this little internet gem


1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, & the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have....
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can' t have them
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11.. There' s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around..
12. Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.


Now I usually would have just desided to ignore such a soppy pile of shite, and got on with my day. But I was feeling even more jaundiced than usual, and decided to fight back.


1. I love you not because of who you are, but because you made me a cup of tea
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, but there are plenty who are worth a slapping
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, usually means they are religious and what you want is banned in Leviticus

4. A true friend is someone who tells you to stop acting a twat
5. The worst way to miss someone is to aim to high, aim lower and you might hit something vital anyway

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, Just keep a steely resolve to get the bastard back some day.
7. To the world you may be one person, and therefore TOTALLY insignificant. Deal With It.
8. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to put out on the second date at least.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. And because He is a dick like that
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened And because you secretly shagged his best mate behind his back
11.. There' s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is get your retaliation in first
12. Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you. However if, like me, you are perfect, then everyone will love you anyway. So why bother?
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you use lube.
REMEMBER: SHIT HAPPENS, JUST MAKE SURE IT HAPPENS TO SOMEONE ELSE.

Happily Andrea is still on speaking terms with me.

Be Good!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Kicking my own arse

Hi,
I tend to have addictions.

Not major, romantic, sex, drugs and rock and roll addictions, none of those Shellyesque Absinthe fuelled coke nose tumbles into the dark abyss of depravity for me.

My addictions are short lived, and kind of shit.

What, I fondly imagine you asking, do you mean Mike?

I will give you an example. Civilization Revolutions on the X-Box 360. I bought this for my Son at Christmas. I have never been into consoles, I like using a PC for gaming, and I like RTS games such as Civilization and Rome-Total War. This game, however, has me hooked. So much so that if I don't play it daily, I get cranky. I know the signs, and there is only 1 cure.

Go cold turkey.

Other examples? Reading. I go through phases where I will read 5 or 6 books one after another over a week or so, becoming totally anti-social and uncommunicative. Again only 1 cure. Cold Turkey.

I once watched all 8 series of Red Dwarf back to back in one sitting. Same goes for Firefly and the 3 Lord of the Rings films.

I have been known to clean the wheels of my car with a toothbrush. and then not clean it for 6 months. I once ate porridge for breakfast for 4 months back to back. I then didn't touch it for 6 months, and then did the same thing over again.

I spent a year on 360 putting 2 sometimes 3 blogs a week on. Since I have been on Multiply, I struggle to find enough to say from one month to the next.

I used to train 8 times a week. I can't be asked now, and I am beginning to hate myself for it. Still, there is always next week eh?

Music was my life, but lately it has lost the draw for me. I still play, but the excitement has gone, and I am scared other people can hear it in my playing.

I need a kick in the arse, the only one who can do that is me, but I don't know if I still posses the flexibility to do it.

Oh Well...

In more exciting news, my son and I went to the local car show here in Hastings. One of the more bizarre things about NZ is that, as cars were always imported, and as the protectionist Government put huge tariffs on the imports, cars were bloody expensive. If you could afford one, you looked after it!

Hence, go to a NZ classic car show and you will see a greater variety, age range and rarity of old US & European and Australian iron than in the UK anywhere. I saw DeSoto's Caddy's Buicks, old Fords, Pontiacs, Jaguars, Merc's, Porshes, Rileys, Rollers, Bentleys, Mustangs, Daimlers and a Jowett Javelin. There were Triumphs, Rovers, Beetles, Morris' MG's Fiats, Lancias, Alfa Romeo's and a Ferrari. And here lies my tale.

I love Ferrari's. I love their shape, their cachet, their mojo and their total pursuit of one goal. To make the best handling car there is. Form follows function and the form is drop dead gorgeous. Now as a kid, the Ferrari of choice was the 308GTB. It is stunningly gorgeous, small, nimble and as fast as a cat with its balls on fire. So when I saw a beautiful purple example at this show, I had to take a look. Ieuan breathed "Dad...its a Ferrari!" as we approached. Lo and behold my mate Jamie is standing by it. Jamie is a classic car nut, and owns a couple of old British cars from the 1930's.

Hi Jamie, said I, you bought a Ferrari? Yes said Jamie, "hahaha" said I, "No. I bought this car. I have sold all my other cars and re mortgaged the house to buy this Ferrari". Shit....spot on bro!

Ieuan is looking at the car, grinning like a loon. "Do you want to sit in it Ieuan?" said Jamie "aowkk!!" said Ieuan, so Jamie opens up the car, and Ieuan sits in the cockpit, grinning like his face is coming off. "Grab hold of the wheel" Ieuan reaches forward slowly and touches the wheel on both sides, between his first finger and thumb, like he was picking up an egg! We laughed, because it was soo cute!

Ieuan, since that day, every hour or so says to Jacqui "I can't believe My Father knows someone who own a Ferrari!" I am cool by association!!

Be Good

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Monet

Hi,

As I wrote, turning 40 is often a big deal. For me it brought into focus some painful realizations, like my life was developing a comfortable inertia that I suddenly find uncomfortable, or that I may have many fewer days ahead of me than are behind me.

Happily Jacqui is far more grounded (even though she is the New Age Goddess in the house) than am I, for Jacqui it was an excuse for a good time. So it was that I booked a suite in a 5 star hotel in Wellington, to see the Monet exhibition at Te Papa.

We drove down the East coast of the North Island and arrived at the suite. Ieuan came too (even though his 'Nana Gail would have looked after him) and he was instantly impressed by the suite. He wanted room service, and I declined. I think he wants to be a cash-rich plutocrat when he is older. I hope he succeeds!

Te Papa is New Zealands national museum. If I were to make a suggestion, I would say it tried to do too much to too little effect. The country should have a Natural History, Cultural and National Gallery. Doing all 3 in one building results in skimmimng, and overcrowding.

We paid our 35 Dollars, and entered the hall, where there were 50 plus works by Monet, Cezanne and Renior (as well as many others). It is hard to put into words the absolute beauty of the works in this hallway. They were far more beautiful in the paint than on even the best photographic representation.

I found myself getting impatient with the dullards looking at the works from 4 feet away, getting in my view. Learn how to view art, before spoiling my view. Up close, you could see the way Monet used the texture of the paint to create depth, At 12 feet the paintings were ethereal and dreamlike, as if this is how I would see the World, if I only had better eyes.

Of course there were other artworks in Te Papa, and some of them were very good (and some absolute tripe), but even the best must have felt like the man who takes his golf GTI to a race, when everyone else has Ferrari F50's. The Impressionists were just in a different class.

I have seen other great artists 'in the paint' (Turner was superb, as was Lucien Freud) but this was certainly the best exhibition of an artistic movement I have ever seen, I feel privileged

Be Good

Friday, February 27, 2009

40 years old, and time is running out!

40 years old.

At this age many things should be happening. I should be settling into the "cruise control" part of life, by now. My career should be settled, my family should be maturing nicely, all the struggles of the last twenty years should have born fruit, and I should be enjoying it all.

What this means to me is that should now be looking towards setting myself up for retirement.

I don't know, it seems to me that there just are not enough years between 20 and 40. The thought that there is about the same amount of time left in my career as I have had so far makes me panic a bit.

It has become one of my late night AAArrrrh moments, like my death and the thought of personal annihilation.

So a couple of weeks ago I had the great news that Jacqui, my lovely wife, was pregnant. I then had the less welcome news that Jacqui had miscarried. Buggerfuck.

This kind of brought a few things into focus. Like I have been stupid in not realizing what actually is important in my life.

I crave a big project, chaos and uncertainty. I used to think I didn't but now all that has been removed I realsize it's what makes me feel alive. And there is no bigger project, nothing so uncertain and no greater chaos that can visited upon you than a baby.

We didn't push trying to find out why Jacqui wasn't getting pregnant because of our 'busy life', Emigrating, buying a house, going back to see the family etc. until it is almost too late. 40 years old is the cut off point for fertility treatment in NZ, so I did what I swore I would never do, and we went private.

I hate the idea of private medicine.

I think in a truly good society, wealth shouldn't mean worth, so the fact I have a good job shouldn't mean that I should get better basic services (I regard Health as a basic service) than a poor person.

Dangerously Socialist in the US, common sense in Wales.

Anyway we met a realy nice Doctor who got us a load of tests (I had to wank in a jar!! horray!!!!) and we now have a clear way forward. So watch this space

On another note, Jacqui turned 40 on the 16th, and to celebrate, we all went ona trip to Wellington, stayed in a 5 star hotel (a suite!!) and saw the Monet exhiubition a Te Papa Museum.

The Impressionist paintings (Monet, Cezanne, Degas etc) were superb, The rest of the museum was a bit of a curates egg, OK in parts (Though we have been slightly spoilt by seeing the London Museums last year). Full blog to follow.

I want to go to the Smithsonian. But that can wait till after I get a baby sorted.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Prince Harry, and killing people

Hi,
I am not a Royalist. I am a Republican Socialist. So you might think I have a certain antipathy towards the Royal Family. Well, I don't. I actually have come to the conclusion as I have aged that the British constitutional Monarchy has many advantages over a Republic, as they are a figurehead, thus allowing a non-political expression of Patriotism.

What is odd is hat we have always expected our Royals to be Military. Which is OK, as long as they don't take it too seriously. Unfortunately, this crop of Royals has brought forth Prince Harry. Harry is a proper soldier. 

He was a noted sportsman at school, and excelled in every sport he took up, the more violent and physical the better. He went into Sandhurst, and was by all accounts a superb student. He then became a Royal Marine, and excelled there, showing leadership skills far beyond the level required by Royalty to become an officer. 

Harry seems to have found his niche, and his niche is killing people for Granny.

Which is why I kind of scratched my head when he was pilloried for calling the Taliban "towel heads" The reason? "Its Racist" What I say is we can't offend them, but killing them is OK? 

Bollocks, fuck the Taliban hard up the ass with a Milan Anti tank weapon. The more of those murdering, cowardly bastards we kill, the better. I don't like war, but murdering Homosexuals and terrorising civilians who don't agree with your 12 century worldview pisses me off more. The fewer Taliban and Al Queda, the better.

They also wring their hand because he called a member of his troop 'Paki', to his face. They all called him Paki. I have been called Taff by every Englishman, Scot and Irishman I have ever met. How is Paki different? 

These guys will fight and die for each other, and the politically correct crew are calling him racist? I assume that Paki carrier a self loading Rifle, so I am also sure that someone calling a man carrying an assault rifle Paki, does so with the Paki's acquiescence, because Paki is carrying a great big fucking machine gun. I have seen full metal jacket, I hope Harry has as well.

Lastly, we expect our soldiers to be saints who murder people because politicians say so. And we worry that they might be racist while carrying out these murders? 

I think we are missing the point

Saturday, January 3, 2009

2008.

Hi, 
2009 will have to go some to beat the awesome year I was blessed with. Career wise I couldn't have had it any better, and am now sitting in the job that I always coveted. All I have to do is not screw up, which may be harder than it sounds!

My family is great, I am privelidged to be the Father to a super like soul, and Husband to a wonderful woman, who is loved by all who know her. I just sit around in the reflected glow of her popularity, and get to talk to her friends' husbands. Which is aboult as much sovial interaction as I am comfortable with.

I fulfilled 3 long term ambitions this year, traveling to the USA, Australia and seeing Bruce live. I spent 4 great weeks with my extended family, and all my brilliant mates. I got to bore Ieuan, talking about the frankly brilliant sights on display at the v&a, science and natural history museums.

Things I learned? I was not a good choice to be department manager, having seen Paula (my Boss) do it, I know that I would have been hopeless. 

LA isn't nice, Chicago is (though I did meet a very nice Angelino who talked us through how to use the Metro, stunning job mate!) 

Americans are not as dumb as the rest of the World thinks they are (Hello President Obama), and the old politics are dead (horray).

2009? Well some things don't change (Colts are out of the postseason) and some things do (The Caedinals? Really?) and that a webcam set up in a room full of your family is a surprisingly satisfying 2nd best to actually being there.

So there you go. Resolutions? Stop drinking. (2 days now) and blog more.

So there you are. See ya.