It is a shock, but Christmas is around the corner! I still have yet to get used to it being hot and sunny in November, and my psychology still isn't in a festive mood.
So it was with some confusion that I went on our departmental Christmas outing. Collinda, our resident Nuclear Medicine boss and all round good egg, organised us to go out on a jet powered catamaran onto the bay, and have a meal, a dance and a drink.
It was a blast. Because of some creative fundrasing, there was a 400 dollar bar tab, for 20 of us. Stunning!
And the views from the boat of the absolutely gorgeous Hawkes Bay made the award winning Matariki Chennin Blanc swill down with aplomb.
Fantastic!!
Then food was up, it was a buffet affair, but it hit the spot and now to the dance floor.
Less Good!!
Because I don't dance. Even whilst drunk I can't dance. I am aware that I am a 39 year old straight white male, which precludes me from any grace. I am also short, and "stocky", so grace quota in the dumps, and I am Welsh.
Therefore I am to dancing what Swartzennegger is to elocution.
So I do what I always do. I sit at the edge of the floor, and watch others gyrate whilst drinking.
Later on I gave a nice lady a hug. She has had a crappy year, and needed a hug. So I provided the hug, and I felt virtuous about it. The world needs more hugging.
I like to spread the love.
Not spreading love were the other occupants of the boat. A bunch of early 20 somethings, who got drunker and louder as night wore on, and there was aggro bubbling under the surface between one of them, a tall, thin guy, and I think his girlfriend.
Anyway, I was walking to the bar, when my eye was caught by this bloke arguing with his girlfriend. She was giving him "the Finger", and he was trying to grab her finger, I assume in order to hurt her. I will never know, because he obviously saw me looking. The next thing he is toe to toe with me, looming over me, and explaining "Why don't you watch where you are looking little man, before you get hurt"
Now in such situations, you often think of great pithy one liners, but usually afterwards in the bar, But that night, inspiration hit me...
"Why don't you fuck off, you lanky streak of piss, before I make you look stupid in front of your mates"
Now I am not tall, I am 5' 6", but I know what I am capable of, and I can size up the opposition quickly. I did Karate for a number of years, I was a Prop Forward, and I went to a shockingly shitty school, which means I can fight a bit.
Here are a few rules.
1.Hard nuts don't tell you that they will hit you, they hit you.
2.Anyone worth his salt doesn't' stand 4 inches from their opponent with his arm by his side leading with his jaw.
I could have decked him in a second, and he wouldn't have stood a chance.
All of a sudden, his mates pulled him away, and I was surrounded by all of my mates.
Bless'em! They were looking out for me!
One of his mate came to see me to apologise. I told him it was cool, but me better calm that guy down, or he would get hurt. By me.
I saw him later, all apologies, so that was OK.
ALL IN ALL, A BRILLIANT NIGHT!!
Be Good
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